Saturday, July 17, 2010

If It Walks Like A Duck..

NORMAL PERSON: "Oh look there's a duck."

OBATRON: "That's not a duck. It is proof that the Stimulus is working."

NORMAL PERSON: "No, seriously, It's a duck. I know, I am an amateur bird
watcher. In fact, that's an Eastern Canvasback duck."

OBATRON: An 'amateur' bird watcher? So you have no formal training. What experience do you have that makes you so confident it is a Canvas--whatever duck?"

NORMAL PERSON: "I have been reading about birds since I was a kid, and I give tours at wildlife refuge's every month. Besides the Eastern Canvasback duck has a distinct dark brown head and black breast."

OBATRON: "Do you have a permit for those tours?"

NORMAL PERSON: "Excuse me?"

OBATRON: "It is obvious, you were neglected as a child and compensated by reading these supposed books on ducks, then you engage in risky behavior as an unlicensed wildlife pervert and your a racist."

NORMAL PERSON: "I'm a--a..Excuse me!!"

OBATRON: "Yeah, a racist! You were so quick to point out the brown head and black breast. Your entire wildlife buddies are made up of a bunch of Right Wing redneck racist."

NORMAL PERSON: "It's just a friggen duck!!"

OBATRON: "Well if you want to return to the policies that brought this country to where it is today, then you can just be cut out of the Social Justice Pie. I am calling the media and the Black Panthers to expose your hate mongering."


POLICE: "Mamm, is this man bothering you?"

OBATRON: "He certainly is officer, he even has photos of waterfowl."


POLICE: "You disgusting White-Anglo, Too bad you aren't an Illegal Mexican with a lengthy criminal record or this might have been your lucky day! Your comin' with me, Lets go!"


OBATRON: "There, there Mister Stimulus, have some bread I took from a wealthy family having a picnic. Even though they worked overtime to afford a day off with their children. You just showed up and deserve a fair share. Oh, look here come more of your friends over that fence, Ill just go get more of that bread."

" Quack, Quack, Quack" responded Mister Stimulus and his friends.

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