Saturday, March 9, 2024

Crash Landing in BizarroWorld-Chapter IV- Look Who Has Come To Dinner

 


    I shot up out of my chair. Sighing the entire way, I slowly went to the rear hatch. Passing by the SprMar seal that closed off the damaged hull I could see more of those... people were milling around the ship. Whoever it was tapping on the hatch had alerted the rest of the party. My question was, how this , uhh, individual was able to determine that there was a hatch?

   I paused next to A and reached up to hold the overhead grab bar. I paused. A just stared at me.

   "And just how does that million dollar brain of yours suggest we introduce ourselves?" I asked. "Shall I just open the hatch?" I reached for the red button. A suddenly held up her hand to block my action.

   "Certainly not, Sir! We need to think about contamination. We don't want to infect these lifeforms with any Earth born diseases."

    I mockingly nodded my head in agreement. "WE? WE don't want to infect THEM? I mean, God forbid, right? Who cares about ME! God only knows what THEY carry but let's take all necessary precautions, so THEY are protected."

    A could easily tell I was being facetious. "That is not what I mean, Sir."

    "How about I put the EVA suit on?"

    A took a moment. "I think not, Sir. The sight of you in EVA might alarm them. We do not know if they have seen an extraterrestrial before."

   "An extraterrestrial? THEY are the extraterrestrials!"

   "In point of fact, Sir. To them YOU ARE an extraterrestrial. This is THEIR world after all. I suggest you put on the respirator and face shield from the emergency box, and I will decontaminate the airlock. This should take care of any bacteria on both of us, and the respirator will prevent any airborne contamination from your breathing."

    Moments later the airlock was filled with Halide and Xenon gas. The two of us stood there like idiots in the fog while we waited for the allotted time for the DECON cycle to complete. I jokingly made small talk.

    "See the game last night? How about that last quarter?"

A just crooked her head.

    Moments later the ventilation system started up. We were both covered in a tingly misty glaze. The venting would dry us out in due time.

    "Ya know, You are so worried about them being freaked out at me in a space suit but have you ever considered what will happen when they get a look at you? You aren't exactly the prettiest girl on the block."


    "There is not much we can do about that, Sir. Besides, I cannot allow you to go out there alone. It is against my programming to...."
    
    "I know! I know! To allow harm to come to humans. But you said they were unarmed." I thought for a second. "Should I be armed?"
    
    "I am, Sir.... Are you ready?"
    
    "No! I'm not! How do I even talk to these... I don't even know what they are!"

    "The UT has compounded many phrases already, Sir. Their language is very basic. There seem to be no idioms or cultural dialects. It is as if the language has been washed to be as basic and unassuming as necessary."
  
    I was without recourse. I just shrugged my shoulders. "Yeah, What the hell." I hit the red button. Since the ship was now under atmospheric pressure A pushed the hatch open slowly. There before us stood what looked like a child, or a small teenage girl. At least it seemed like a girl. She (it) was very androgynous. A shade of tannish-gray like the others. Very basically dressed with no adornments to speak of. And, not primitive either. Her clothing looked manufactured. She didn't appear to be all that frightened at the sight of us. She called out to the others who soon gathered around her. Some had assumed the bent over position while others murmured to each other, pointing at A and myself.
    I just stood there like a retard smiling. Waving my hand which, incidentally, was still holding the shot glass.

    "Duu-aJuung?" The girl said pointing at me. One in the group seemed to chastise her for pointing. She waved it off.

    "I think she is asking your name. Sir but the UT is defaulting to asking your pronoun."
    "My pronoun? I'm a guy!"
    "Just tell her your name, Sir and I will do my best to reply."
    "Marcus." I tapped my chest.

    The group was murmuring and the girl...err..person before us spoke back to them apparently to quiet them down. Because they did.
    A replied accordingly and the group seemed to be satisfied with her description of me.

    "Why would they be interested in my pronoun first and not my name? Do they now think my pronoun is 'Marcus'?"
    "I am not sure, Sir. The UT is still compiling as we go. I have told them I am an AI robotic companion but in female form and voice."
    "Glad we got that straightened out."
    "And as you know, Sir long space missions with only male crew members tend to have certain needs. So, a female form and voice lend a calming effect to overall morale of the ship and crew. As you have experienced yourself with me, human males sometimes need to..."
    "I get it! Yeah, yeah.."

    We both stepped down out of the ship. So far, so good. No one has tried to throw a net over us or stun us. I couldn't help but wonder though how this person found us. The ship should have been cloaked. Once A and I were a few feet from the rear hatch it became apparent.

    The rear hatch electrical connection, in fact, the whole entire electrical junction was severed from the crash. A should have known this. 
    Something was definitely wrong with her. I elected to say nothing. We had other issues to deal with.

    

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